


darling, don't be afraid

by stilljunhui (acyria)



Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Drama, Fluff, Lots of fluff because that's who I am as an author, M/M, Romance, in his past life anyway, inspired by the Kdrama Goblin, more tags to follow as the story progresses, warrior!Taeyang
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-09-28 17:11:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10140959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acyria/pseuds/stilljunhui
Summary: He spends his whole life (and more) searching, searching, searching.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm starting a chaptered Hwitae fic because I am Trash™ :) 
> 
> Highkey inspired by the K-drama Goblin although it's not really anything too similar, title taken from A Thousand Years by Christina Perri because it felt very fit for the story.

_“Will you be back?” Hwiyoung asked, staring up at the person before him; Taeyang was dressing up in his fighting attire— currently dressed in black from head to toe, with metal guards attached to key places on his body, with a few pieces he had yet to wear. His long, black hair fell just over his shoulder— Hwiyoung complained about it every now and then, but secretly thought it looked quite good on the other boy especially when it was tied up in a loose bun. He received a hearty chuckle in return._

 

_“Of course,” Taeyang replied, attempting to fix his shoulder pads as he did so. “When have I ever not returned to you?”_

  
  
_Hwiyoung hummed, moving to help Taeyang, “you know I always worry. It comes with being a warrior’s lover.”_

 

_He gave the shoulder pads a good lift, allowing Taeyang to move around until it properly slotted into place. When that was done, Hwiyoung looked around for the chest plate to be worn next, finding it next to the door where Taeyang always left it. He moved to get it, just then realizing that the usually chatty boy hasn’t said anything in response. As he made his way back, he glanced at Taeyang to find large, chocolate brown eyes staring intently back at him._

 

_“What is it?” Hwiyoung asked gently, noting the shift in atmosphere from Taeyang’s earlier laid-back self._

 

_“Do you ever regret it?”_

 

_“Regret what?”_

 

_Taeyang hesitated before he continued, “being mine. A warrior’s lover.”_

 

_What exactly did it mean to be a warrior’s lover? Hwiyoung had never fully thought about it. Surely, it had its downsides— every fight, each time Taeyang was called to the battle ground, meant another possibility that he wouldn’t come home. He knew Taeyang was always placed in dangerous situations; sometimes, Taeyang would come home badly bruised and bloodied, only to smile warmly the moment Hwiyoung rushes to his side. He’d make a joke about how the blood was mostly from the enemy, and Hwiyoung would whack his shoulder only to find out that part of him had a bruise, too._

 

_Hwiyoung knew that one day, instead of his lover’s beaten up body showing up at his door, he might just end up with a letter. An apology from the emperor._

 

_Still, that day has yet to arrive, and Hwiyoung considered himself lucky. Those thoughts were usually buried in the back of his mind, surfacing only when there’s a war going on in the country, or when Taeyang announces he was being called to the palace. There was nothing they could do about it, after all, it was a warrior’s sworn duty to protect the emperor and the kingdom. It was an honour, was it not? Worth far more than Hwiyoung’s worries._

 

_On most days, he wasn’t a warrior’s lover anyway, but simply Taeyang’s lover. Yoo Taeyang was more than just a warrior— he was Hwiyoung’s favourite person, favourite smile, favourite hand to hold. Not just Hwiyoung’s too, but he was sure the whole village was proud of how a regular farmer’s son managed to make his way to the ranks of the emperor’s royal army. The younger boy often wondered just how Taeyang— all bright smiles and cheesy lines— could ever possibly wield a sworn and strike someone down. In the end, did it really matter?_

 

_“No. Not one bit.”_

 

_The smile he received in return was dazzling._

 

_/_

 

Hwiyoung woke up from his dream with a jolt. It wasn’t the first time he’s had that dream, nor was it the only dream centered around the same subject. Always about somebody named Taeyang. Sometimes they were so vivid that it seemed more like memories, snippets of what might have been different moments of his past life, connected to feelings that ran from pure joy to utter anguish to everything in between. Some dreams were light and happy.

 

Some were far more bitter and dark— visions of a bloody sword, distant screaming that sounded like his own voice, and no Taeyang in sight. 

 

For some odd reason, a part of Hwiyoung felt like there was more to the dream he just had than it showed him. Something important. However, no matter how hard he tried to remember or to link it to other similar dreams he has had, he always comes up with nothing. Nothing more than bright, sunshine smiles and an aching feeling of _want,_ of something _missing._

 

A few things were almost definitely certain.

 

There was a boy named Yoo Taeyang somewhere in this world, and Hwiyoung was going to do everything he could to find him. 


	2. Chapter 2

 

The year is 2017.It’s a bit into January, with the cold of December just about ready to leave, but not quite yet. It wasn’t too terribly cold, however. There were birds chirping happily about finally being able to fly outside, kids playing with the snow in the streets, and some might say it’s a beautiful day. Just a few more weeks till school starts again, so everybody’s racing to enjoy what free time they have left. In the midst of it all, Yoo Taeyang was _bored._

 

Apparently, that’s what living for 829 years did to a person. 

 

He’s done close to everything at this point: Sky dive in Guam? Check. Scuba diving in Maldives? Check. Witness the rise and fall of Korean empires? The evolution of technology? Check and check. Things no longer interested the immortal being starting about a few decades ago. Human fads come and go, getting too tedious to keep track of. One thing that remained the same was that Taeyang’s life was never ending. 

 

How did it start? He doesn’t exactly remember specifics, but he does remember starting out as a peasant boy with nothing to his name. Taeyang had woken up in the middle of a field, remembering nothing of what could have possibly happened to him. He had wandered into a nearby village and was quickly adopted by one of the families there. Things weren’t that weird, until years passed and everybody just noticed one thing— he didn’t age.

 

/

 

_The Kim family, who adopted him, regaled him as some sort of deity. Perhaps he really wasn’t human since he didn’t age, but it’s not like he had any sort of supernatural power though. Still, they were bent on believing that serving Taeyang would bring fortune to their family, and soon swore that their blood line would live to serve him all throughout their life. At 19 years old then— or at least, he believed he was 19 when he woke up— Taeyang wasn’t sure what to do. He understood nothing of what was going on in his life, but accepted nonetheless._

 

_Something was definitely weird in his life. He just wished he could remember. He spent a good chunk of his life figuring out what went wrong in— his first life? His current life? He wasn’t sure. He was only left with more questions with each passing year. The Kim’s did their best to help him, accompanying him where he saw fit to go, or asking around for his sake when Taeyang was at a lost._

 

_When he was a bit close to 600 years old, he got his first and probably only answer to his multitude of questions._

 

_Kim Jaeseong, the current one serving (he really didn’t like the term, but they always insisted on calling him master) him, found one of those old spirit fortune tellers in a small, sleepy city in Daegu. People believed that she could tell people’s pasts and futures. By then, Taeyang was far from the immortal peasant boy he thought he was— he advanced as the world did, and was just about to start a small company of his own, Sun Enterprises. Still, he wanted answers, so he travelled to Daegu with Jaeseong by his side. He’ll take what he can get._

 

_The old lady greeted him before he even stepped foot inside the cottage. Jaeseong politely stayed outside, but Taeyang dragged him along, claiming he needed to make sure somebody else knew about his situation, whatever it may be. He sat down before the old lady, introducing himself as he did so. He had tried to smile, but found that he couldn’t. A part of him was strangely scared._

 

_She took one look at him and shook her head—_

 

_“I pity you, brave warrior. Soldier of Goryeo, you are terribly cursed. You have done great deeds for the country, only to be betrayed in the end. Now, your soul holds onto a promise you gave to a loved one. One you swore to keep, and the same one keeping you still on this earth. You must find this love, however…”_

 

_Her eyes bore right into Taeyang’s own as she paused, pupils moving just a little as if searching deep within him._

 

_“Your wait continues. It is far too early to release you just yet. Your loved one has yet to arrive, and when he does, it will not be easy. Your memories have been erased. You remember nothing, isn’t that right?”_

 

_Taeyang opened his mouth as if to answer yes, or more like to ask more about what she meant, but he was cut off with a wave of her hand._

 

_“I have said enough. The gods will not be pleased. You have all the assistance you need,” she said dismissively, staring at Jaeseong in particular, before turning her attention back to Taeyang. “Seasons come and go. You must wait for the right time.”_

 

_“But when?” Taeyang finally asked, plucking just one question out of his mind to ask. “When is the right time?”_

 

_The old lady remained silent. Jaeseong muttered that this usually meant she would no longer entertain questions, and so Taeyang had bowed, said his thanks, and went on his way._

 

_“What do you think she meant, Jaeseong?” Taeyang asked, kicking the rubble at his feet as they travelled back. It was all just a bit too much for him— she had called him warrior. A soldier of Goryeo. Cursed. He had a lover. A male one, if he noted correctly, and the thought didn’t seem to bother him that much. It felt right. Still, try as he might to recall his memories with this new found information, he was always stuck with nothing. No name or face to place alongside the title of his so-called long lost lover._

 

_Jaeseong pondered quietly, before finally speaking up._

 

_“Perhaps, it’s a true love sort of thing. A love that's yet to come? She said something about how you still have to wait, so…” He trailed off, leaving Taeyang to guess what he had to say. He already knew._

 

_He still had some time left on earth. A lot of time, it seemed._

 

/

 

It’s been centuries since he visit to the old lady. Kim Jaeseong, just like all of the ones before him, has already died and left Taeyang with whoever was next in line. Each death that came was never easier than the first. The same feeling of abandonment would creep into his heart and he’ll feel so terribly _alone_ for a while until the presence of the next Kim male would enter his life. Currently, it was someone who had already managed to become older than him throughout the years. 23 year old Inseong was nice, helpful when he wanted to be, but definitely lacking the original reverence his ancestors had. Taeyang wasn’t sure if he was glad to be considered more as a friend now than a master. 

 

His life had exceeded his own expectations, too. Youngest CEO of his time, and perhaps even of all time. Sun Enterprises had grown to be a global name. He was sure at least everybody in Korea has heard of it. Perhaps not his name and face, but that was fine by him. It did help to be under the radar when you’re essentially immortal. That was where the Kim's came in. They handle what he can't in the human world of possibility, so Inseong was enjoying his life just as much. He had achieved goals he set for himself, for the Kim’s, for other people he had met along the way. All the while still trying his best to maintain a life as normal as possible. As if he could ever be normal. 

 

Taeyang tried something new this year, he actually went to school, which was a new field for him. Inseong had claimed that if he had to endure college during his younger, then technically 19 year old Taeyang should, too. It was an experience, the fox-eyed boy said with a mischievous grin, claiming that _'Master Yoo would totally enjoy it'_ and how it'll help him fit in and maybe gain some new friends along the way. Actual peers. Maybe meet the love of his life. Admittedly, it was the last bit that convinced Taeyang he needed to get out there more. Things were okay.

 

Yet, it didn’t change how Taeyang was bored. 

 

Most of all, it didn’t change that he was _lonely._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did say this was roughly inspired by Goblin. You don't need to watch to understand anything, nor are there any spoilers for the drama found in this fic, so yeah! Bit of a messy chapter to explain Taeyang's situation more, might fix it a bit when I feel like it.

**Author's Note:**

> Short starting chapter! Rest of the chapters to be much longer.
> 
> If you like my work and would like to support me, please consider buying me coffee! https://ko-fi.com/stilljunhui


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